Finding Peace by Decluttering During a Divorce
by Laurie Martin
We are all born with an inner light. Sometimes that light shines bright. Sometimes our flames waiver and sometimes our lights are extinguished. We are especially vulnerable to darkness during divorce. But when the flame blows out, we feel overwhelmed, or we hit rock bottom, it is important to ask for help.
I am so thankful I had a community of family and friends to walk beside me during one of my most difficult seasons dealing with infertility. It was a three year battle. I experienced cycles of hope and heartbreak. Life was there, and then it wasn’t.
There was a lot I could not control, but I did have power over the state of my home. I made time to go through every drawer and cabinet, making sure I was only keeping things I used and loved. It was calming and refreshing to know everything was in its place.
I have been organizing professionally since 2006. While I love the satisfaction of creating customized organizational systems for each client, my favorite part of what we do at Simplicity is helping others. Life wasn’t meant to be done alone. Simplicity is about connections, confidentiality, and community.
With our struggle to prioritize taking care of our home, our paralysis to make decisions, our battle with procrastination, and our addiction to shopping or clicking the “buy now” button on Amazon, clutter begins to fill our spaces and creep onto our countertops through the years…especially as we go through life’s inevitable challenges.
What makes it hard to let go of our physical belongings:
We spent money on it.
We will experience guilt and shame if we let it go.
We are unsure of what to do with it.
We might want it later.
We are paralyzed by the quantity.
We are overwhelmed on where to even start.
We do not have the time to deal with it.
Divorce is a life transition that affects us financially, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Whether you remain in your home or you decide to move, you are faced with the overwhelming feeling of having to deal with your physical belongings.
It is embarrassing to let others see behind our closed doors and stuffed drawers, yet having the courage to ask for help can be one of the most liberating gifts you can give yourself.
Yes, it is exhausting having someone sort through mountains worth of clothes and lay them all out before you. It is challenging making hundreds of decisions in a day that you have postponed making for years. It is emotional seeing so many physical memories unearthed…on top of the heartbreak of divorce.
But here are some hard truths:
Your stuff does not define you.
Things do not give you purpose.
Objects do not bring lasting joy.
The act of surrendering that which does not serve you any longer is powerful. Once you are able to let go, the light starts flickering back. And you are able to make space for what truly matters.
At Simplicity, we offer hope, compassion, and kindness. We listen, encourage, support, and execute. We are not there to fix problems or say what we think is best. Our role is to ask questions and ultimately shine a light where there is darkness.
Our nonprofit organization Simplicity Serves offers complimentary organizing services to other nonprofits and families in crisis. When someone in our community is suffering we want to be there to lend a hand. Organizing professionally is not a job for the weak. It is a calling.
We wear black. We wear black to hide the dirt and dust we uncover. We wear black to hide the sweat. Our clothes may be dark, yet we show up every day with our light. With our smile. With our excitement knowing that a home and a life are going to be transformed.
Letting go of the unnecessary and focusing on what matters most is what gives us purpose. Our joy lies in uncovering your light by creating space and balance so that you discover a new sense of harmony in your home and life.
Laurie is a source of love and light in Claire’s Curated Community. She and her compassionate team at Simplicity are ready to help you use your divorce as a time for healing and transformation through the decluttering process.
Claire Samuels Law, PLLC works with you to resolve your legal issues while also providing the resources and experts you need to facilitate the healthiest process for you and your family.